You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Where is the hickey?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
