Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize