Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
