I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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