Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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