I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
