She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
