the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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