I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You're like the curious george of whores
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Randomize
