So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
