Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We just shotgunned beers for America
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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