But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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