what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
