the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
