who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Even my vagina gasped.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
