but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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