I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she smelled like a LAN party
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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