i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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