real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
as a side note pls kill me
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
