WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
