i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
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if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
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He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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