just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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