I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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