Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
