Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
