Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
