he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Houston, we have a squirter
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
