I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize