omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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