Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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