Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
