Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
