I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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