I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
