the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
