"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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