I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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