i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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