yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Never joke about your clitoris.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
