I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize