We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
he quoted the bible to break up with me
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
