u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
