so explain again why im purple
no
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
