stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
