i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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