Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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