the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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