Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
