Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
