i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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