We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
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His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
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I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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