My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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