I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
