dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
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