I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
