Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I cut my penus on the lid.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
