i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
