KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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