There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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