I need help removing her.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
