Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
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I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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