used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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