Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
