I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
