so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
