some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
